its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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