So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
