Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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