She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
