Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
