Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
