discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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