So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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