I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
