my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
