I look better un-naked...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
