We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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