recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize