I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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