it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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