I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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