It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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