I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
