using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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