so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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