Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
