yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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