So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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