he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
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Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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