I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
