I just pynch a tree in the face
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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