Are we in a gay sports bar?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
