Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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