Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
