I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Maybe he injected his testicle?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
