When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
