You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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