i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
And then he peed in my hair
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