'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.