hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
