There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
