Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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