I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i barfeds in our rink
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
