my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
