Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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