So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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