Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So apparently I’m into choking now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
