I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
