i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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