Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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