omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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