Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize