so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
