Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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