We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
