There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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