I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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