I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
