a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
