Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
