His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
