take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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